Dear Diary

(This is a serious and pretty personal post, so be warned)

I survived my third semester of grad school! Wohoo! I am 75% finished with my master degree, which seems hard to believe and not so hard to believe all at the same time. Part of me feels like it's flying by and I'll never be ready and part of me feels like I have been in school foreverrr and I was ready to graduate a while ago. It's a weird feeling.

This semester was by far the hardest yet. I doubted at times that I would survive, but obviously I'm still here to tell the tale. Part of the reason it was so difficult was the classes, but honestly part of it was me. I have always had to work hard to do well in school, and I always (ok, most of the time) have tried my best, but something clicked with me this semester and I found motivation in myself I didn't even know I had. I found myself putting 40-50 plus hours into each paper I wrote and reading everything I possibly could. I think part of it was a great professor I had that really held me accountable and pushed me to keep doing better. I think the other part of it was that my internship has really confirmed for me that I am doing what I love and has motivated me to soak up as much as I can while I'm in school.

Most people probably think I have lost it for purposely picking a career that likely won't ever pay much, that can be emotionally difficult, and even sometimes a little dangerous. I have had many  people even tell me so. Sometimes when I say I'm going to school to be a social worker I get that awkward "oh"from people. When I tell them I work on a locked psychiatric inpatient unit for kids and teens I get the feeling that some people think maybe I need to check in myself. But I know that I made the right choice for myself.

There has NOT been a day yet that when my alarm went off at 6am, after only a few hours of sleep, that I dreaded going into the hospital. I look forward to it every.single.day. Seriously. How many people can say that?

This semester has been the best and worst all in one. I had way too many sleepless nights, but I also found my passion for working with children and adolescents with mental illnesses. I am exhausted and more excited than ever.

The icing on the cake was when my grades came in on Friday. I got 100% on a paper I busted my butt on from a professor that barely even gives A's. Then I found out that overall, I got a 4.0! I have never had a 4.0 in grad school, and if I did it undergrad it was because I was in joke classes to fill credit hours, so this is a big deal for me!

P.S. I celebrated with a HomeGoods trip. Details soon :)